Cohabitation and Marriage

     Many in today's world believe that cohabitation is a good way to test out a relationship and hope that it will prevent divorce or problems later on.  So, it might interest you that despite these beliefs, research has actually shown that cohabitation increases divorce and problems.  It has been proven time and time again, that those who don't cohabit and then marry have the advantage.
     First, let's look at differences between cohabitating couples and married couples.  Married couples have better-quality relationships compared to cohabitating couples, especially those who don't plan to marry.  There's a higher rate of violence in cohabitating couples, a woman is nine times more likely to be killed by her partner than in a married couple.  More sex and more satisfying sex are found in married couples.  Married couples have better health than cohabitating couples.  Less depression,  greater happiness, higher commitment levels to relationship, and relationships with parents are better.  Parental separation is five times more likely for kids born to cohabitating parents than those born to married parents.  Cohabitating parents spend less on education and more on alcohol and tobacco than married parents do.  Cohabitating couples have less durable and stable unions than married couples.  Cohabitating couples are more likely to have less education and to be minorities, than those who marry.
     Now let's look at couples who cohabit before marriage compared to those who did not.  Those who cohabited showed poorer marital problem-solving skills and were less supportive of each other, compared to those who did not cohabit.  Infidelity is higher among those who cohabit before marriage, than those who didn't. Those who cohabit before marriage are more likely to be more economically disadvantaged than those who enter marriage without cohabitation. Cohabitors are more likely to perceive the possibility of divorce, than those who didn't.  Actual divorce rates are higher among those who cohabit before marriage, with the exception of African and Mexican American women.  Divorce is twice as likely for women who have multiple cohabitations before marriage, compared to those who cohabit only with their eventual husbands.
     Children and cohabitation is something important to look at.  This is because during the late 2000's almost one-half of all premarital first births were to women who were cohabiting.  Those who cohabit have their first births at younger ages and on average have more children.  They are also likely to have had more than one partner, that they cohabited with and to have had prior children with other partners.  Low income parents are more likely to cohabit and raise children outside of marriage.  Cohabiting parents include single mother families. The risks to children's well being, who grew up in a single-parent family are: reduced educational attainment, poor health, early sexual activity and pregnancy, later poverty, emotional problems.
     Overall, we can see that those who cohabitation increases divorce and problems.  Cohabitation affects many areas, such as relationship quality, commitment, violence, health, infidelity, marriage, divorce and children.  Cohabitation has also been increasing for the past several decades and doesn't seem to be stopping any time soon.  This is the reason that I decided to write about this and even did a research paper on this topic.  I wanted to be able to help educate others on this important topic, so that others could see the research for themselves and be able to make better informed decisions.
     People may look down on marriage for different reasons, but I honestly think by looking at the research that cohabitation ultimately creates a lower commitment level. This makes those who are cohabiting look at the relationship as something that is disposable and not important.  Whereas marriage is looked at as something serious, stable and lasting.  Something that you will work on together and will put each other first and having more trust from the beginning. I say this out of not just research, but my own experience with marrying without cohabitating.  From the very beginning of marriage, we brought all of our resources together and discussed how to make things work because we were committed to each other and our marriage success.  This is very different from how cohabitation usually goes, they are two separate people, with separate lives who live together and are willing to leave if there's problems, they don't want to deal with, since there's not a strong commitment.
     In closing, I just want to say that my intention wasn't to be unfeeling towards those who cohabit or think it's a good idea.  I simply wanted to share my knowledge and hopefully help others to have better chances of successful relationships that end in successful marriages.  Why do you think marriage without cohabitation has been shown to be more successful and to have less problems overall?

Link below is another view from some experts
Is There Really a Difference Between Being Married And Living Together

Information was used from the book Marriage and Family Quest for Intimacy by Lauer & Lauer. Professional journal articles that are peer reviewed: Farber, N. & Miller-Cribbs, J. (2014).  “First Train Out”: Marriage and Cohabitation in the Context of Poverty, Deprivation, and Trauma.  Journal of Human Behavior in the Social Environment.  24, 188-207. 
Lichter, D. T., Sassler, S. & Turner, R.N. (2014).  Cohabitation, post-conception unions, and the rise in nonmarital fertility.  Social Science Research. 47, 134-147. 
Malek. N. B. A. (2016).  Is Cohabitation An Alternative to Marriage?  Procedia-Social and Behavioral Sciences. 219, 12-18. 
Manning, W. D. & Cohen, J. A. (2012).  Premarital Cohabitation and Marital Dissolution: An Examination of Recent Marriages.  Journal of Marriage and Family. 74, 377-387. 
Tach, L. M. & Halpern-Meekin, S. (2012).  Marital Quality and Divorce Decisions: How Do Premarital Cohabitation and Nonmarital Childbearing Matter?  Family Relations Interdisciplinary Journal of Applied Family Studies.  61, 571-585. 
Willoughby, B. J. & Carroll, J. S.  (2012). Correlates of Attitudes Toward Cohabitation: Looking at the Associations With Demographics, Relational Attitudes, and Dating Behavior.  Journal of Family Issues.  33(11), 1450-1476.