Family System Theories, What a Circus!

Come one, come all, to the family circus. Ever wondered why your family is the way it is, well you have come to the right place. There are four theories that try to explain how the family works.  First, there’s the Systems Theory it says that each family is a system with different boundaries that make it different from other groups.  That each person in the family has different roles and rules that apply to them.  Basically, the family, is a system of separate parts that work together as a whole.  An example would be that I compare my family to a circus.  We all have different roles to play, but it’s only a circus when we work together.  After all, it’d be pretty boring if there was only one clown and a ringmaster, you need all the acts. There are also what’s called subsystems where two or more people interact in different ways. Such as a group of flying trapeze artists, they learn to work together in different ways.

Exchange Theory explains that in our interactions, we try to keep our costs lower than rewards.  Costs would be intellectual or emotional energy, time, money or anything that you define as an investment in a relationship.  Rewards would be sense of security, intellectual or emotional gratification or anything that’s satisfying, that comes from a relationship.  An example would be when you select a life partner.  You decide if what you get out of the relationship is worth what you put into it. Or going to the circus, is it worth the money for the entertainment factor.

Symbolic Interaction Theory says that humans are influenced and shaped by their interaction experiences. That interaction results in who is in the interaction and what happens in the interaction. For instance, a young man is negative about marriage until he interacts with a particular woman.  There’s also the definition of a situation, where what we define in the situation becomes real and has real consequences.  Example, a woman sees her husband talking with a woman and thinks he’s flirting.  When he might just be talking to her, to be polite.  Even though the woman is wrong, the consequences to what she thinks, would be real, when she confronts him.  Basically, it’s all about your perspective.  By looking at the clown, you might miss out on the elephant ride.

Conflict Theory describes societies as having conflict, inequality and change as people struggle over resources that are scarce.  Because there aren’t enough resources for everyone, different groups with common goals fight over those resources.  They either get them or have to make do with what they have.  There are two groups that are focused on, social class and gender differences.  Social classes have similar income, occupational prestige and lifestyle.  Gender differences would show that some women think that men have an advantage in power, since they make more money.  This one is all about whoever has the power, is the one that influences the most.  Just like parents influence the money usually, since they have jobs and the children don’t.  Similar to the circus manager getting complaints from the performers about wanting raises.

So, you may be wondering, what does this have to do with families and how can it help me? By knowing that there are different systems in your family, that determine how people interact and work.  You can look at the systems and determine where you fit in and what you can do to make it work better.  It also gives more understanding on why things work the way they do.  With exchange rate, you can look at your relationships and see what costs and rewards are ok with you.  Then understand why some relationships work and others don’t.  Possibly even discuss things, with those who don’t know what’s important to you and make a more balanced relationship.  Symbolic interaction can help you realize that you assign meanings to different things and may even interpret things wrong.  To help you be more open in discussing what happened and what the other person’s view is, before you make decisions that have consequences.  Lastly, conflict theory helps us see that there are certain resources that we want and help us see who has the influence. Maybe by knowing, we can be better at negotiating and helping both parties get what they want.  To help stop the power struggles. 

I want to leave you with a question.  How can I take what I learned and help improve my relationships?  

Below are links to watch family circus acts, enjoy!

The Fabulous Wallenda Family Circus Tightrope Act

The Flying Olimechas Trapeze Act